Kraken Kronicles

While Michele (msdata) grapples with the rules of the Church and preparing Emily for her 'preliminary' walk down the aisle (gulp!), let's keep in mind that at heart God is probably a mathematician (among other things) and has a sense of humor.

Humor Du Jour today is for Michele who is also a mathematician by training, programming wiz by trade, and keeper of the Look Of Death when the kids step out of line.



An engineer thinks that his equations are an approximation to reality.
A physicist thinks reality is an approximation to his equations.
A mathematician doesn't care.

TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR NOT DOING THE MATH HOMEWORK
1. I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
2. Isaac Newton's birthday.
3. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach it.
4. I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.
5. I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged.
6. I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
7. I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
8. I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one or i is the square root of negative one.
9. I took time out to snack on a doughnut and a cup of coffee. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.
10. I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn't find it.

Boy's Life, May 1973:

Ralph: Dad, will you do my math for me tonight?
Dad: No, son, it wouldn't be right.
Ralph: Well, you could try.


Astute Observation:

"The reason that every major university maintains a department of mathematics is that it is cheaper to do this than to institutionalize all those people."