Kraken Kronicles: The Hurried Child

Saturday, January 21, 2006

The Hurried Child

Have you noticed how fast some kids seem to grow up?

Parents sometimes rush kids through the milestones of childhood, pushing them into the harsh world of adolescence. There is a model in developmental psych called the 'Hurried Child Syndrome' by Dr. David Elkind. He describes this cultural phenomenon occurring when parents encourage their children to behave like teenagers such as buying makeup for girls, permitting early teen dating, dressing them in designer clothes, allowing and expecting them to make adult-oriented decisions, and especially, exposing them to explicit sexuality and violence in movies, television, and music.

Here's an observation from one child psychologist:

Twenty years ago, I didn't see children in my therapy practice who resembled burnt-out, career-driven, Type A adults. I didn't see kids with chronic stress-related headaches, stomachaches and free-floating anxiety. I do now. Lots of them! Little kids. Big kids. Kindergarteners with stress headaches because they're not learning to read fast enough (even though developmentally they're doing just fine). Little girls who are afraid to tell their parents that they don't want to spend four hours a day practicing ice skating or gymnastics. Ninth graders who tell me they have to play competitive league basketball all summer or else their high school coach will think they're not serious about making next year's team. Parents of a fourth grader asking me if I think their daughter has she "right stuff" for an Ivy League college. FOURTH GRADE!!!

In the past, parents understood the need for an orderly progression through childhood. We had cultural 'markers' that determined the age at which certain behaviors were appropriate, such as making certain decisions for him or herself, what type of material the child should be exposed to. These markers have been moved to younger and younger ages.

The fundamental problem with this pattern is that is makes it very difficult to set limits on behavior when the child becomes an adolescent. What teenager wants to answer to a curfew when he or she has been told to think for him or herself, and act like an adult?

The 'Hurried Child Syndrome' robs kids of their childhood, a precious magical time that went fast even 50 years ago.

Let's let our kids be kids!!!!

Playing in the MUD!!!

Dancing and singing to silly songs!!!

Articles on Hurried Child Syndrome:
Natural Family Online
Wordspy

Some of the Kraken's Grandkids.
There are some others, but I think he may have eaten them.

# posted by Obernai : 3:14 PM

Comments:

I second that. Let kids be kids.
People thought it was ok to wear make-up at 18, then 16, then 14, now 10! And think the short skirts and high heels are innocent, but combine that with make up - all on a 10 yr old and you have a slutty / trashy kid who should still be playing with baby-dolls -- not trying to pick up older boys.

# posted by